Thursday, April 14, 2016

When its just one of Those days, and you can't win

Sometimes there are days when moving on seems impossible, and time just gets you down. So keep trusting. It's worth it.

Remember what our God has done. He is the one who promises rain to the barren land, who stopped the enemies of His people and cut them down. He is the one who is with us in our exhaustion and our struggle. He's the one who set the stars in the sky so we would see light in the darkness, and the birds to whistle in the day to remind us of the beauty He has made.

For most of my life I have asked myself who I want to be when I am 5 years down the road, where I want to be and what I want to be doing.

Now I am at a crossroads of life.

Moving on and pressing forward.
Every day I have a chance to quit. Or to keep going Anyway.

I wish I could say that I keep going.
But on my own usually I quit really hard.
I end up flat on the floor, staring up at the ceiling, wondering where my life is going.
.... Crying in the laundry room...

An emotional wreck, really.
But then...
.... Then comes that voice of Someone who loves me, despite all of my mistakes and failures and plain old stupidity. Despite all the hurts that I carry like a dirty bandage that just needs to be thrown away, He loves me still.

In the midst of my every day, petty frustrations- you know them, the ones that drive you nuts and make you lose sleep and... and the ones that you don't quite remember what it was you were frustrated about. In the midst of THOSE, this gentle Man comes, in all His Divine State, and speaks to me.

His Spirit witnesses to my spirit.

WOOSH- a breath, a rush of air. Sweet relief, and peace returned.

Focused on my Jesus,
Hand in hand with Him-

So I get up, and I move forward.

Saturday, April 9, 2016

What Love Has Done

This isn't a post about romance, even though I'll admit I'm a diehard romantic.
 I love slap-happy, tear-jerking, totally cheesy love stories.
And I love real ones.

Can I tell you what love has done to me?
Love gives my eyes power to look past just me, my concerns, my hopes and dreams and worries.
Love sees hearts and delights in them, as they are.

Love makes me tell my best friend that I love her 7 times just today (her count, not mine)...
Love causes me to be that crazy person that doesn't hate very many things in life, because each joy, even each trial, points me to even more love and even more joy.
Love keeps me awake at night, petitioning my Beloved for the ones on my heart.
Love causes me to look at insecurity, at sickness, at trauma, and bless the One who reaches out a hand to help...
Love allows me to forgive the ones who brought on the pain, and
even to hope the same Life for them, that now finds itself in me.

Love makes my heart bloom.
But my love is not forced.
It was a gift to me-
One that I chose first to receive.

And I do! Oh so joyfully! This love has given me breath. It has given me hope and dreams and a Reason. This love has given me definition, purpose...

But this love is also mine to give (& yet simultaneously to keep! What a joy!)
I choose to love.