Monday, November 7, 2016

Finding Solid Ground in the Janitor's closet

Some days are purely emotional.

There's that odd combination of work-related and life related stress that just puts your senses on overload.
Think about it: you have a crap ton of work on your desk, and there's some sort of random beeping noise coming from a malfunctioning fire alarm. Throughout the course of the day, the most ridiculous things happen. Some are good, some make you angry. Some are laughable, some bring you to tears.

You have conversations with your boss and there's more work to do.
Life at home might be a little crazy....
And relationships, who knows what's happening anymore?

Today I had one of those days.
Life was on overload and I couldn't quite keep up with its supersonic speed. I was limping, time was strolling slowly through the day like it was a Sunday afternoon instead of a Monday.... but the life things. Like bullets that I could see from a mile away but couldn't dodge, they just kept coming.

None of them hit me directly. But I still broke a little.

Naturally, I found myself sitting on a bucket in a janitor's closet of our building.
You've got to do strange things to find quiet sometimes- but sanity is important.

A few deep breaths, in and out.
Finally the tears streaming down my face, what a relief.
Thoughts still swirling in a confusion around my head, and I settle on one thing,


With a breath the headache is gone.
Leaning my head against the concrete wall, I look at the line of dry, clean mop heads.
They know their purpose- they hang, spaghetti-like, ready to immerse themselves in bleach water and floors marked by the passing of parents, kids, staff...

That's it, I think.
I have never once doubted the Lord. My whole life I have trusted Him, and trusted who He is.
I know that His opinion of me has never changed, and that His love for me is unending.
I know that He has claimed me before all of time. I even saw it once- the Lord, mighty in power and sitting on his heavenly throne. He stood up before all of creation and all of time. In righteous anger and perfect firmness and truth, he confronted my enemies. With a mighty stamp of His staff He sent ripples through space, declaring once and for all, "She is mine!"

He claimed me, He claimed all of us who would also claim him.

This I have done my whole life. I have always claimed him.
I am not perfect, but I have run to him and lifted him high.

But I have been guilty of one thing.
I have embraced a false humility, and allowed myself to be trodden upon.
I have embraced my king, but I have not stood up and declared who I am.

By His blood, I am:
         Not Alone
            Marked with Hope
                A Prisoner of Hope
                    Redeemed from all my sin and shame- ALL OF IT (even what I still struggle with)
                        I am set free, liberated
                          I am no longer a slave
                            I am not an orphan or a castoff
                               I am uniquely created in the image of the Uncreated Creator
                                   I have been brought into His presence
                                      By His love I have heard His voice
                                          I am one who knows God
                                             I am His, and He is mine....

The list goes on.
And it isn't just for me, you know.
It goes like this. Some friends of mine have been using the hashtag #where'smyground?
What is your foundation, your "worth living for," your "this is who I am, and nothing you say or do can change it?" Where is the place that you will make a stand?

In the janitor's closet today, I realized that my ground can't just be knowing who God is, or even just knowing Him. You see, He stood for me. He stands with me. He goes before me and behind me....

I am not going to sit quietly anymore.
I know where my ground is.

It starts here:


Now, Where is YOUR ground?