Saturday, November 29, 2014

Raw Life

Hey friends-

Let's be real. Sometimes life is rough. Sometimes we realize that not everything is as perfect as we'd like it to be. Our dog dies, our friend's moms get cancer, or maybe we just lose touch with that life that we have, the one we've been reaching and grabbing for.
No matter how much you love or hate life, you know what I mean. There is something deep in all of our souls that hungers, thirsts, aches ... no, GROANS for ... well, I can't come up with any word other than LIFE.

Maybe that's why I find myself constantly re-evaluating what I do. And maybe it explains why I've listened to One Republic's song "I lived" about 30 times today...

I want that, you know? To live life to the fullest.
Maybe I'm really wrong about people, but it seems like we all want that. At the end of the day we want to say that no matter what we went through or whatever 'happened' to us, that we lived and lived well.
I owned every second
That this world could give
I saw so many places
The things that I did
Yeah, with every broken bone
I swear I lived

I'm pretty sure the Bible talks about this... a lot. In Matthew when Jesus talks to the woman at the well, he addresses her thirst, her ever searching lifestyle.
He's the answer, but still we struggle on. Why are we so silly? Personally, I have a pretty thick skull. I'm really stubborn, I'm not the best listener, and like almost any other girl I can get pretty emotional sometimes. 

And yet.
Somehow that pesky and marvelous God that I serve doesn't give up. He just keeps coming at me with truth after truth, reminding me time and again who I am (His daughter of course!).
Lol I'm such a mess. I hope this makes sense to you all.

In the end it comes down to this. Life is hard to live, and sometimes we might not feel the "desire" to be positive, to look for that oh so constant yet hard to see silver lining. But with God we have two things that are constant. 1) Somehow there is this crazy hope that just keeps flickering inside us, even if in our grouchiness we try to tamp it down. It's based on this knowledge that no matter what, in the end God WILL have the victory and His promises will win out, and we'll make it. and 2) we can choose.

How revolutionary is that? We serve a God who continues to love us through all of our human emotions and failures, through the disasters both big and small that rock our worlds, through All of our random questions and doubts and minor/major frustrations... No joke, friends, He's a persistent guy. A gentleman, but an unrelenting one.

So on one side we have this AWESOME God who loves us and cares enough to be continually knocking on our door, trying to help if we'll just let him. (Sometimes that means sitting by us as we vent, sometimes it means a comforting hand, sometimes it means fixing the situation like a roaring lion!)... On the other side, we have us. It is our choice how we look at each day. We can choose our attitude, we can choose our actions, our responses, our words. Heck, we can even open the door and let God have the day!

Hmmm. This song is on again... Making me think about dreams that I have.
My dreams make me wonder about those of my friends... or those of the random barista who gave me a wonderful chai latte the other day. My toes feel itchy. Maybe it's time to stop complaining and start living.

On my end- I'll open the door wide, fling it open for my King to come in. Im going to keep following His lead, keep dreaming, and keep my eyes and ears and heart as wide and as open as I can. Maybe I'll figure out this attitude thing after all. I know I'll find that life though... He promised it.

For all of us-- I hope that you don't suffer
But take the pain
Hope when the moment comes
[we'll] say...

I, I did it all
I, I did it all
I owned every second
That this world could give
I saw so many places
The things that I did
Yeah, with every broken bone
I swear I lived....

Well. Let's live. Not the foolish, stupid life. Just the real, everyday kind. Then maybe when we get to the end of this race together we can look back and say that we did it all. Just remember what my mom always says- "You can never choose what will happen around you. You can't change other people, you can't always change circumstances. The one thing you can change is you. You can choose to react well, and you can choose to smile." And Joshua too- He said that we can "choose this day whom you will serve... but as for me and my household we will serve the Lord" (Joshua 23:15) Whether or not it 'makes a difference,' I've made my decision for today, and tomorrow I'll have to make it again, because I'm human and I forget. Each new day I have to choose how I will react... 
Who knows? Changing our outlook just a smidge could be just what we need to fill that incessant thirst for life.... 

The only way you can know is to give it all you have

Till later friends! Hope you can see the joy in today!

-- An Adventuring Friend

Monday, November 10, 2014

Forbidden Places and Empty Spaces

Have you ever sat out on a forbidden balcony, covered yourself in blankets, and just watched the stars?
I have.
They don't do a whole lot, or at least they don't seem to.
But they exist. They are.

If stars were beings, what would they say?
There is no hustle or bustle with a star. They just are.
From countless miles away they shine.
They don't worry about past, present or future- all those moments are simply now.

How do you shine, dear stars?
Surely our childhood got you right, to notice your twinkling- just like the rarest of gems.

So far and yet so close. In the past yet also this moment, and for billions of moments more.
How do you shine?

I tried to count the stars and I couldn't.
Tried naming them and it was too much.
Then I looked, just looked, and sat and looked some more.
How can they be so....?
How can they be?
(Can I just Be?)